Sensa, 2 August 2024 Interview by Mateja Hana Hočevar
Ingmar Nieuwold, a Dutchman who has been living and working in Slovenia since last year, set out on a path of spiritual exploration at an early age. In this talk, he shares the key moments that have shaped his path, the wisdom he has gained from spiritual teachings and how he integrates these insights into his current work. As a sound therapist, naturopath and therapeutic coach, he guides others to unlock their inner potential and live a purposeful life.
photo by Tone Stojko
You were born in the Netherlands. You embarked on a spiritual quest at an early age. What motivated you to do so?
Through my upbringing, I was exposed to spirituality from a young age. My mother practised the Touch for Health method, which includes kinesiology and muscle testing. I was a very restless child and had problems with insomnia. Through these methods, my mother found that I did not tolerate the colour red too well. And the walls of my room were red! When they painted them blue, I suddenly started to sleep perfectly.
My parents wanted to build a sustainable house next to the water, which was of course a big challenge. My dad had a full-time job and my mum a part-time job, so she could pay more attention to me and my sister. She longed for a better job and a dream house. After reading Louise Hay's book, You Can Heal Your Life, she became intensely interested in manifesting abundance. She started by practicing small steps, for example, with the intention of finding a free parking space. She has always managed to do this and continues to do so today! After a while, she got a new job and my father found a better one, which enabled them to finally afford a sustainable, energy-saving house by the lake together. My mother believed that manifestation happens in small steps and through the people who come our way. In her new job, she met a colleague who was shifting into real estate trading and opened the way for them to a better opportunity to buy a property that would otherwise have been beyond their financial means. This is how they ended up with their dream house with a garden and a boat.
Was your father also open to spirituality?
Not at first, but he supported my mother in her endeavours all the time. When he saw her successes, he opened himself to spirituality. I also became interested in reiki, energy healing, magic, mysticism and various spiritual philosophies when I was in my twenties. Already at that time I was searching for purpose and authenticity in a world full of suffering and superficiality.
When your parents were building their dream house, you had already moved to Groningen. What did you study there?
I studied Human Movement Science at a Dutch university and at the same time popular music (soul, blues, pop, jazz) at a conservatorium. I only stayed at the latter for one year, because the system was very strict, and I got discouraged. I watched the anguish of my schoolmates as the rigours of exams shattered their dreams. After the exam, they would come out of the examination room and cry. That was when I came to a conclusion: I must not let the love of music that my father, a passionate musician, had instilled in me, be taken away from me. I decided to pursue music, but without formal study. So I gave up formal music education.
In the study of the science of human movement, which was new to us at that time, we were taught about the human body and health. We had subjects such as physiology and pathology, and we studied anatomy on human corpses. I was very interested in all that, but the scientific approach, which involved statistics and methodology, was not close to my heart. I was taught how to analyse statistics and do research, but I was much more interested in working with people. Later, this knowledge came in handy, as I was able to combine science and spirituality.
I persisted in this study for four years but dropped out in my final year. I was told that I would not find a job in this profession and that most graduates end up working in banking. This was an important decision for me: for the first time in my life, I did not follow the expectations of my family and society. I wanted to combine my interests with my desire to serve people.
What was your next step?
I enrolled in a five-year course on naturopathic medicine. There we learned how to support the body in self-healing. A naturopath is always looking for the smallest possible stimulus that activates the body's innate ability to heal itself. In doing so, he or she strives for a complementary approach in collaboration with the doctors of conventional medicine.
Running a naturopathic practice in wellness centres in the Netherlands has given me valuable entrepreneurial experience, even though this path was quite daunting for a young man just starting out. My studies made me quite critical of certain spiritual practices. I watched people who received a diploma after a ten-day course and claimed to be therapists.
The transition from a scientific to a holistic approach merged two worlds in me and shaped me in a way that still serves me well today.
During your naturopathic studies, your parents took you on a spiritual retreat. Why was this experience so important for you?
My parents took my sister and me on a transformative retreat based on an Indian blessing ceremony called diksha. Later, this became a powerful movement. It was led by two spiritual teachers who attained enlightenment under the auspices of an Indian guru, first known as Kalki and later as Bhagavan. The ten-day retreat was intense and focused on letting go of the ego. Although I found the concept scary, as it was akin to losing one's identity, I was fascinated.
I observed the processes that were happening to people there through a therapeutic lens. During my naturopathic studies I also learnt a lot about psychology, ethics, energy work and the transfer between client and therapist. If a client falls in love with a therapist and the therapist has no ethics, abuse can occur. Because of my background, I was able to identify manipulations and "spiritual bypasses". These were used by people to try to avoid dealing with their own emotional problems and wounds by using the excuse of spirituality.
The traumas and pains that emerged were labelled as ego, i.e. as something bad. This got me thinking: why should the ego be so bad? And why were the enlightened people in this cult still operating so strongly from their own ego? All these questions arose in me. I wanted to know more about enlightenment and non-duality, which was talked about a lot there.
How did you start your research?
First, I accompanied one of the teachers to California, where I helped her with "satsang" (learning) through music and chanting mantras. In Sausalito, near San Francisco, I immersed myself in a vibrant spiritual community, exploring shamanism and psychedelics and meeting influential individuals. But even there, something felt very wrong. Despite the meditation practices and the blessings of enlightened teachers, I could not accept that the people in this movement were unable to translate the values they espoused into their daily lives and relationships. There was a lot of spiritual narcissism covered by a blanket of spirituality.
It was there that a well-known publisher of spiritual books suggested to me that my future would involve sound and frequency healing. It was an accurate prediction, but one that I didn't take seriously at the time.
After a month I returned home, left the community of individuals seeking enlightenment and suddenly found myself very much alone.
This was probably a moment when you could have completely turned away from further pursuit of the spiritual path, but you continued and went deeper.
I delved into the teachings of sages like Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, U.G. Krishnamurti, J. Krishnamurti, Sri Ramana Maharshi and teachers like Wilber and Cohen. I have been absorbing their wisdom. I have sought to understand and, more importantly, to experience the states they have described. But this only led me to feel inadequate, as I could not grasp the concept of the 'true self'. The idea of our true nature seemed intangible. Despite my intellectual efforts and dissection of these concepts, I always felt as if something was missing.
One day, while meditating and watching the clouds glide by, I was struck by a realisation: these clouds exist in my consciousness. As I contemplated the vastness of awareness, I wondered if the observing presence had any limits at all. If my awareness reaches to the clouds as well as to the sun, does it perhaps even go on into infinity?
As I continued my research, I heard from Ken Wilber: "This aspect of yourself, the observing part of you that remains unchanged, has been a constant from your childhood to your present age. This is your true self, the silent observer of all that arises and fades in your awareness." I knew that part of me! I could grasp it, even if the focus on it was fleeting.
Inspired, I intensified my meditation practice, focusing on the feeling of "I Am". During one of my meditations, I slipped into a state of peaceful stillness, which I recognised as "meditative sleep". As I came out of this state, I watched my body get up from the couch, prompted by the idea of thirst, walk to the fridge, pour the juice and drink it. But I realised that it is not me who is doing all this. I was just a witness, detached from any sense of action or decision-making. In that moment, I realised that there was only an observing "I" and had the startling realisation: "This is it!"
What followed this realisation?
The mind was utterly disappointed! Nothing had really changed. I still had to look for work and earn money. But the seeker in me died that day. I was looking for happiness outside myself. I was looking for something I didn't have yet and hoping that by finding it, my suffering and all my problems would end. I also thought that enlightenment would bring me the status of a guru and that I would live on spirituality. In reality, I had lost interest in spirituality and spiritual practices. I did not read a single book on enlightenment anymore. I realised that this self was always there, unnoticed and taken for granted, without any promise of a better life or a higher purpose. An ever-present witness, quietly observing but completely overlooked. Everything material around me remained the same, but my world view changed dramatically - my centre of gravity shifted inwards. I realised that Ingmar, as it was before, was just a collection of mind-formations and beliefs, and that it gave a life full of conditionings that were supposed to represent my personality, just a story. When I realised the futility of the ego's search for meaning, I cried and laughed at the same time.
The words of Sri Ramana Maharshi, which you shared on your website, come to mind: ' Self-knowledge is not new, it is not something that can be acquired. It is already within us all the time, hindered only by the screen of the mind. "
Exactly! Let me use another metaphor to illustrate the sound picture of our true nature. Imagine that our true self can be perceived as the silence in a room. Our thoughts and feelings are all the other sounds that exist in that room. The cacophony of these sounds can completely drown out the silence. But when silence finally reigns in the room, it becomes obvious that it was always there but covered by other sounds. Once we become aware of this silence and continue to listen, we can again turn up the volume of the whole sound picture of life. But this time we will know that the silence is still there. We will know that the sounds that occur in the silence and the silence itself are part of the same soundscape that represents our pure being. We are not just sound or just silence, we are a symphony that combines both.
After this intense experience, how has your life been?
For the next fifteen years I lived in a state of calm detachment, watching my thoughts and emotions like floating clouds. Gradually, however, this sense of detached consciousness merged again with the rhythm of everyday life, where everything was passing by, seemingly without purpose. I worked as an organisational change consultant, co-founded a malaria eradication organisation in Rwanda, became a father to a son and lived a family life.
Of course, this seemingly peaceful life could not last indefinitely. As is often the case, an unexpected and very painful event in my personal life brought everything crashing down. The divorce left me with the inevitable pain and deep sadness associated with the loss of family life and the ideas associated with it. We usually try to avoid the waterfall of intense feelings. But for the first time in my life, I did something different. I had to accept that the situation could not be changed and that all judgements of the current situation were again just stories. I distanced myself from them and could only allow myself to stay present with my feelings. I accepted my vulnerability and gave myself permission to feel the full depth of my emotions. I opened my heart wide and allowed it to break, to shatter.
This process brought me a new realisation. I realised that I had been living according to external ideals and expectations, without any real purpose coming from within. Because society had imposed its conditioned ideas of how I should live, I had long resisted accepting the true purpose of my existence. With this realisation, a space for the expression of the true self emerged. I began to sing, make music, write poetry, paint and dance. All these things I had loved to do since I was a child. Playfulness re-entered my life.
That was an important, indeed a crucial turning point, wasn't it?
Yes. The opening of the heart triggered a wave of creativity and inspiration that had been suppressed for a long time. A renewed awareness of the "I Am" awareness that I had effortlessly summoned from the past years brought a deep connection to expressing myself through art and music. Dance has enabled me to transcend the illusion of separateness and feel connected to everything. The intellectual understanding of the self that I had known before became an embodied knowledge of the self. In the midst of the daily hustle and bustle of life, I experienced the bliss of simple existence. I realised that what is essential is selfless love, which springs from the heart without direction or intention. Although subtle and easily overshadowed by the distractions of life, this bliss is always present.
This process of boundaries leads to new people, new love and important steps in life. I became grateful for a creative flow that I had not known before and realised that inspiration comes from the divine self. We are empty vessels for the creative process and the expression of the divine flowing through us.
Can you describe your work or treatments with sound?
When I decided to follow my heart and dedicate myself to sound and music, I entered a new world of frequencies, sound waves that transmit intentions, and the knowledge of alpha, beta, gamma and theta states. I delved into the scientific aspects of sound healing and sought the connection between science and intuition. I began to explore binaural beats and frequencies. These beats are derived from the two different frequencies that we hear in each ear and create a third frequency, which is the difference between the two basic ones. This new frequency exists only in our brain. It is not audible in reality, we only hear it in our head. It is created in the part of the brain that controls brain waves and our states of consciousness. I have been exploring their potential to alter states of consciousness and to access and influence the subconscious.
Subconscious beliefs shape our view of reality by influencing our understanding of information and our emotional and behavioural responses. These beliefs can lead to the realisation of negative expectations because we act in a way that confirms them.
The soundscapes I create with binaural beats bring us into a state of theta. At that point, our conscious mind is "out of the way", so to speak, and we are very open to suggestions. In this state, the critical faculty of the conscious mind, which normally acts as a gatekeeper and prevents the acceptance of new ideas, can be bypassed. Empowering affirmations, sound healing frequencies, symbolism and rhythm are even more helpful in transforming the mind, personal transformation and goal attainment. They release the inner power to heal, experience love and happiness.
Starting from analytical idealism, non-dualism and the teachings of Carl Jung, I further delved into various psychotherapeutic practices, hypnosis, breathing, meditation, NLP, ACT and other methods. I have incorporated these approaches into my experience of naturopathic practice, participatory leadership Art of Hosting, counselling and other areas from my previous professions. I combine all these elements in The Art of Spanda method. I trigger states in which my clients can expand their consciousness and thereby transform their reality.
It's about belief training or the aforementioned manifesting, isn't it? Believing in something before it can be seen or proven. To know that what we want is already present and that we have the power to attract it into our lives. I can see that your mother's manifesting of the dream house has had a great influence on you too.
Rather than attraction, it is more about awareness, as I explained in my previous answer about the subconscious. But to answer your question, Yes! I have tried to manifest a lot. I started when I was a teenager, I was actually influenced by my mother's stories about affirmations in Louise Hay's book. I entered a competition where the award was a motorbike. Every day I repeated to myself several times that I had this motorcycle with big wheels. But I didn't get it. I always remember the disappointment I felt at that. I did not know then what I know now about manifesting. My mother often told me that she hated motorbikes because they were dangerous. A high school friend of hers who was a motorcyclist died in a car accident. No wonder I did not get a motorbike then. Because I had this subconscious belief that it could kill me.
Fear often becomes reality if we think about it a lot. This is because we programme the subconscious mind with the images that come with these thoughts and emotions. The same applies to positive thoughts and suggestions. If we think about something that we enjoy and that makes us feel good, we may notice more of it in our lives. Let me illustrate with an example. Let's say you are broke and you feel that money is not for you. Maybe you were taught in childhood that money is filthy and that only bad people get rich. You believe that wealth belongs only to those who are morally corrupt and greedy, while you see yourself as an honest person. This belief makes it impossible for money to come to you.
In a state of theta, hypnosis or deep trance, we can bypass the gatekeeper of the subconscious mind and tell him that he does not have to protect us from " filthy money ". At a deeper level, we begin to believe it gives security to be wealthy or at least self-sufficient. And soon new opportunities will begin to open up, allowing us to live abundantly.
This is the part of manifesting that is mostly not talked about. It is expected that saying affirmations will in itself change our reality. But it won't work until our subconscious is in tune with them. We can repeat that we are a magnet for money, but if this phrase is accompanied by a subconscious belief that money is dirty and that rich people are bad, we will not attract money into our lives.
The more we connect with the potential of manifesting, the easier it will be to create the world we crave and deserve.
Can you mention an example of one of your clients and the progress they have made with your support?
Of course, with pleasure! I have been working with a dentist from Scandinavia online for some time. She felt that her life lacked depth and meaning. Because of her rational nature, she has always been cautious and tried to separate the grain from the chaff in the spiritual world.
She began to feel that her true purpose was to truly heal people, to be more than just a dentist. She believes that it is her responsibility to bridge the gap between formal, academically based healthcare and more subtle, complementary methods. She has sold her practice and is now planning to build her own centre. I am confident that she will succeed and that she will influence the necessary changes. This is a theme that often comes back into my life: the interplay between science and spirituality.
What are the limitations we need to overcome on the path of inner freedom?
When we free ourselves from the limitations of our conditioned mind, we can more easily control our life. This freedom brings happiness, because we no longer suffer from our own ideas of what life should be like. We stop resisting what happens. We are able to be with whatever arises without becoming captives of the collective stories that society imposes on us. By focusing on our true self, we can begin to follow the song of our soul and live our true purpose from the heart. It is up to us to choose our own purpose or let others define it for us.
You must be bold and persistent to follow the path of your own expression. When you create something that truly comes from you, that is your own creation from the inner light, it brings immense satisfaction, knowing that you are following your mission.
It is true. The values that come from our heart are our true compass. We may find ourselves in unfamiliar terrain, but if we learn to trust our inner compass, it will free us from the expectations and stories that others have written for us. In this way we can discover our own path and the purpose of our soul. My passion is to help people find their soul values and live their purpose so that they don't end up fulfilling someone else's dream.
If I understand correctly, you help people open their hearts through music?
That's right. If we want to live our soul's purpose, our heart must be open. This means that we are ready to accept everything, including pain and suffering, and to be truly present in it. A closed heart is like a dead end, receiving nothing and giving nothing away. But an open heart, even if it is wounded, radiates light and illuminates the way.
I carry out my mission both in Slovenia and abroad, online. My wish is that each individual opens his or her heart and lives from within it. So that our divine nature can express itself through each one of us.
After your relocation to Slovenia at the end of last year, you and your partner, Marija Skočir, are embarking on a new business journey together. You want to combine your different skills and experiences and your shared passion for music and the use of sound for therapeutic purposes.
I have found an extraordinary companion on this journey in Marija. With her encouragement, I have expanded my interests into the therapeutic use of sound. Her contribution to our work is invaluable, as she brings valuable insights and is unwaveringly committed to it. Together we explore the intersection of art and personal growth. Marija has a PhD in Art History and is a certified sound therapist. She works as a curator and manager photo by Tone Stojko of two art galleries, but sees her personal mission as much broader.
In what way?
She has a remarkable ability to empower people - by guiding them through their creative processes, where they can develop their whole personality. Within the art scene, she establishes community practices where people find a safe environment to exchange ideas and explore their potential. As a leader, she is creative and always strives for sustainable and less predictable practices that can contribute to individual and social progress. Although she is focused on her work in Slovenia, she is keen to expand her work both in terms of interests and geographically. It is open to many new perspectives and approaches.
How do you like living here?
Growing up in the Netherlands was nice, but I always knew that one day I would leave the flatlands of my home country. I have always been very attracted to the mountains and I felt very at home when I wandered around the hills on holiday. In the mountains, man's influence is limited: no matter how much one wants to conquer a peak, in the end, nature in its unspoilt rawness always prevails. I like that rawness, that primal energy. During my time in France, I was lucky enough to live quite close to the mountains. On clear days, I could see them from afar and admire their grandeur. I lived in an agricultural, farming area, in the hilly region of Le Gers, also known as the Tuscany of France. Nevertheless, I wanted to have more direct contact with the mountains. This longing may also have contributed to my meeting with Marija! We now live in Kamnik, surrounded by magnificent mountains. And you Slovenians remind me a little of the northern Dutch. We are practical and down-to-earth people who value honesty and don't hesitate. We both may seem unapproachable at first, but when we welcome someone into our circle, it is for real, perhaps for life. The connection to people and nature here reminds me of my roots. Sometimes you have to leave your place and see the world to learn to be grateful for what you have been given. In the surroundings of Groningen, where I grew up, the local rivers have been allowed to run out of their banks in recent years, so that the original marshy, swamp-like landscape has returned. I love the water, and there is much more of it now. In addition, thousands of bird species have returned, as the landscape has returned to its original state. It is also a pleasure for me to be able to identify with the landscape because it is linked to our ancestors.
Just as they are aware of the importance of ancestors in indigenous cultures, I believe it is essential for us to respect them. In doing so, we accept that we are characters in stories that are made up of our experiences, the contributions of the people around us and our ancestors. Many of our stories were written before we were born and are stored in the subconscious as beliefs and archetypes. We identify with our conditioned beliefs. We often associate identity with the different roles we play in life. Do we have a choice in what we do or does our story write itself? When we rest in the great silence, we may find that we are the writers of our own stories. We create our own world through our song.
I am also fascinated by Slovenian stories: traditions, history, tradition, wars, victories, dragons ... By living here, they become part of me and I become part of them. Everywhere we go, we leave footprints. I feel connected to the Slovenian people and I am happy to leave my mark with my work here.
Given all the experience and insights you've gained over the years - what advice would you give to readers who want to follow their dreams and live a purposeful life, but don't know where to start?
Life can be difficult, so it is normal to feel anxious, sad, angry, numb or sad. Many believe that living well means avoiding unpleasant feelings, but in the long run this exacerbates the pain and limits our experience of life. Accepting painful experiences can open up new possibilities and lead to a more meaningful life. Our minds often create stories that we get caught up in and suffer for. If we do not identify with them, we can lessen their impact in the moment by being present and accepting. Listening to your heart and living in accordance with your deep-rooted values will bring you direction, motivation and emotional fulfilment. Aligning your subconscious beliefs with your values can change your worldview, transform challenges into opportunities and lead to a more fulfilled life.
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