A Different Take on Well-Being

Most definitions of well-being focus on feeling good, staying balanced, or having your life “in order.” But the more I sit with people, and when I listen inwardly, the more I realise: well-being is not the absence of difficulty. It’s not something you get from perfect routines, green smoothies, or a stress-free lifestyle.

Well-being is the absence of suffering in being.

Not the absence of pain. Not the absence of stress. But the absence of resistance to what is.

The Nature of Suffering

Suffering, as I’ve come to see it, is the tension between the situation we’re in… and the one we wish we were in. It’s the subtle (or not so subtle) inner friction that comes from wanting the moment to be different than it is. It’s the thought: “This shouldn’t be happening.” Or: “I should be further along by now.” Or: “Why can’t I just feel better?”

That tension - that push against reality - is what creates suffering.

Because we are self-conscious beings, we can imagine different futures. Better ones. We can envision relief, improvement, transformation. That’s a gift. But it also means we can get trapped in a loop of comparing now to what could be. And that loop quietly erodes our peace.

pain is inconvenient

Pain Is Not the Enemy

Let’s be clear: pain is part of life. Physical pain. Emotional pain. Grief, inflammation, uncertainty, heartbreak. These are not signs that something has gone wrong. In many cases, they’re signs that something intelligent is happening. A fever, for example, is the body’s natural way of restoring balance. It's uncomfortable, but deeply functional.

So what do we do with discomfort? Often, we try to get away from it. We treat symptoms. We take painkillers. We procrastinate. We scroll. We self-improve ourselves into exhaustion. But what if well-being isn’t found in escaping discomfort—what if it’s found in how we relate to it?

Being With What Is

True well-being, In my reality, is the capacity to be present with life as it is. Not in resignation, but in relationship. It’s a felt sense of, “Even this belongs.”

You can be in pain and still be well.

You can feel stressed and still be present.

You can be grieving and still be whole.

It’s not about achieving some static state of peace. It’s about resting more deeply into the experience of being alive...even when it’s messy, even when it hurts. That, to me, is real well-being.